penguinfaery: (Random-Jaws-SQUEE)
Hell yes Starfest~!

I am so excited. Our slasher movie girl costumes look bitchin'. Me and Bev are doing girly!Dean and girly!Cas which'll be adorable and fun.

We are going to party it up~!

I feel like everything snuck up on me though...no art in the show this year. Just gonna chill out and have fun.

Break up stuff )
penguinfaery: (naru-sai- "Well I'll be over here then")
So possibly going through old notebooks and sketchs books is NOT the best idea right now.

But I also found this letter and it was so like ....oh.

"...I've been hitting down the urge to just message you and say 'Hey kiddo, love you and it was great, have a good life.' because if I have that control, if I can take it into my own hands, I can patch myself back together. If (and even now I am ignoring the part of me going 'when', and obviously not well) you leave, either actively or slowly, I want to be able to.

Or maybe I can, but the part of me that can't handle anyone else leaving doesn't much like playing Russian Roulette (And I know, Bev already point out, when I tried telling her this, that everything with Alex is a great irony here. Felling all this has actually help me come to terms with it, in ways I really couldn't write down, because I'd rather never see you again, rather be dead, then watch myself slowly become unimportant to you, And I can already feel that happening..."


For those keeping score at home, who maybe have noticed the reference to Alex, this was in a letter from I believe June 2009.

Guess I shoulda gone with my instincts, huh? Lordy.

I also like how this letter lays out two things Ju promised she would do, swore up and down, since she was going to CU and...didn't. Ever. Even now hasn't. (get a car and get a phone line in her dorm)

And of course, the reply to this was a heartfelt, tear stained "How could you EVER feel these thing, this will never happen you are so important to me, I love you so much." I believe she said I was so important to her she couldn't even imagine how I could feel this way.

And yet it has now been over two weeks and she hasn't called to work out anything. How could I ever?

We did exchange a few letter. They were less then helpful. And initiated by me.
penguinfaery: (Lost-Jack-"I will update my LJ~!")
So I am feeling distinctly better. Not that things...are better. I am still kinda waiting for the other angsty foot to fall but...yesterday was amazingly awesome (girls day out lunch with Sarah's mom + Shopping + cheap 90 minutes massages + wine + Disney), and I slept well last night, and am just feeling pretty damn good about things. Me and Ju have been writing back and forth, and...I got a lot out. It might have burned that ridge, but it also I think...is why I feel so good. At least in part.

I did smash my finger something wicked in the car door. I don't think it's broken but...it is sorta a purple sausage.

The new apartment is wonderful, and I can't wait till it's all put together so we can have a million parties. The guy across the way is...not a friend from highschool, but someone I always enjoyed talking to, and we might watch his baby~!

And we also had crazy people steal our "Caution, contaminated room!" signs with the radioactive symbol on it and rep[lace it with thsi (Sorry for the sideways ness)

And completely unrelated:

RP musing on the break up and playing Male character. )
penguinfaery: (clamp-sukamui- support hands)
Ju and I broke up. And it had gotten to Ju and I which says a lot.

Things were not going well, and she wasn't willing to work on things.

I'm not ok and dunno when or if I will be. But Bev is still here for me, as well as friends and it will be as good as it can be.

Fuck if I don't feel like a huge chunk of me is missing. It hurt so much knowing you cared so much more then the other party.
penguinfaery: (HALLOWEEN! Trick or treat)
Photobucket

Julia was flashing me with soft!Dean.

Who looks weirdly naked without his jacket. It's like Donald Duck without his shirt. You don't notice that the whole thing is naked till that jacket is gone...

Her halloween costume is cute. She is cute.

*squish*

Our Halloween plans for the night sorta....weren't.
penguinfaery: (sai-"hehehehehehePenishehehehe")
pengwinfaery: http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/funny-facebook-gma-troll.png?w=469&h=265
inkyumbrella: ...what is lemonparty.org?
pengwinfaery: not something you ever wanna look at
pengwinfaery: like I don't know what EXACTLY it is
inkyumbrella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
pengwinfaery: but it's like 2 girls 1 cup somehow
inkyumbrella: ...it's an old man orgy.
inkyumbrella: Actually.
pengwinfaery: I am crying I am laughing so hard right now
inkyumbrella: Shut up.
penguinfaery: (random-twins-wow we're identical!)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Everyone, meet [livejournal.com profile] blushingdolphin

No, I kid. We will always be twin stars but she likes bell pepers so clearly it is not a perfect match.

Honestly, I'd probably hate myself. It wouldn't be fun to watch.

This icon is so weirdly fitting.
penguinfaery: (SN- Dean's eyes)
You spend too much time with someone when you get yelled at on the phone for being them

But their mom.

XD

Ok, she didn't really YELL, because Julia's mom doesn't really...yell that much.

Have you ever felt like you didn't belong on this planet? Like...I feel a lot like...something has gone thin and I can almost remember....home? IDK, it's a weird feeling. Like I'm an undercover worker, and I'm just placed here with my squad to work something out and reality is much bigger then all this.

This is really weird and surreal.

I think I'm an alien. Oy.
penguinfaery: (random-dean-weird)
I feel like me and Sarah might have just hit a peak with ridiculous conversations:

Her: damn it, i wish you guys were caught up with Supernatural so i could squee about it with you
Me: ....you can squee a little?
Me: I also am super missing something SN wise rping with this Sam
Her: like what?
Me: I will link you next time they reply
Me: http://family-remains.livejournal.com/1807.html?thread=58127#t58127
Her: i, i see why you might feel like you are missing things when talking to him ;D
Me: I'm like WHAT IRONY
Her: I'm not telling you ;D
Her: that's really funny that he used the alis Keith, too
Her: because that is an alias he JUST used tonight
Me: MAYBE THAT SAM IS BEING RPED BY KRIPKE
Me: (Kripke right?)
Her: yes
Her: oh, fandom is 99.9% sure he is on LJ somewhere
Her: watching us
Me: it's you sarah
Me: I know it is
Her: you caught me
Her: I am Eric Kripke
Me: YES. Get in my damn pokeball now.
Her: damn it
Me: I can call on your during the next wank fest
Me: Kirmpkemon GO!


Also, well I'm at:

Awesome Harry Potter related crack, and Cracked...related...crack.... )

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