Terra (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
penguinfaery) wrote2007-11-18 07:51 pm
penguinfaery) wrote2007-11-18 07:51 pm
(no subject)
So Terra has a history of bad Thanksgiving. A really bad one. So bad now we look back at them and laugh.
Let me illustrate to you:
So Turkey day makes me very lonely because the whole POINT of it is to be with Family and mine is always very very far away.
So we started having huge parties with my friend, potlucks, in the days around so I could start having that big family feel. And we do that whole "What are you thankful for." thing
The first year I was at college, I brought home my roommates, Iris, and made the mistake of asking my dad over. AT this time my dad had no idea about Bev.Denial.
So we're going around doing the whole "What are you Thankful for. First my friend Holly (Who'd brought a friend with a CRAZY conservative mom) was like "I'm glad we could be here with people like you." And gestures towards me and Bev. And I'm going "My dad's good at denial. He'll read that as Liberal. Heh."
Then we get to Iris. Ah Iris. How I love her.
She opens her mouth and goes "Terra should be thankful for her boobs! No, wait, BEV should be thankful for Terra's boobs :D"
My dad left quiet quickly. And his denial rather feel apart.
The next year my dad took me to a dinner with a small group of poet friends.
My dad (Who I always spend this Holiday with) is very into the poetry scene. So there's me, him, a meek woman who's house it was. Nice, whopped at whole food, wanted to please everyone. SOme guy who I remember nothing about, and then...her. I can't remember her name, but we'll call her Weebee cause it was kinda like that.
She was the kinda person I honestly expected to go "How avante guarde!" (And yes I likely just butchered that spelling) Crazy ritzy hippy poet woman who wanted to be the cutting edge of everything. Kept trying to impress us all with who she knew, and her "show" which was on local TV at like 3 am. You get the idea.
So she becomes obsessed with my art. Like...wanted to know EVERYTHING. And this was the time when I was working on doing art as Mamoru, for my RP and as an art exercise, and so had a bunch of stuff in there from http://www.mamopuff.deviantart.com/ there, and she asked where the name came from, and I explained I doodled Mamoru in a cream puff (See icon) which was an utterly dirty joke, but I left that out.
So she declares, at this dinner table, I'm not even kidding:
"Representing yourself as a male in a pastary means you were sexually molested as a child."
...
And then she goes on an on about how I must have repressed it, and I needed to be free, blah blah blah. And we're all just sitting there, jaw dropped, going "...well ain't this awkward."
Finally she stops and there's a long silence and then she's like "Oh, and (Hostess name) this is the song i wanted you to list to on this CD."
And we all breath a sigh of relief and start eating again, and suddenly she grabs my knees and is like "But you really need to deal with these issues or you'll never be free."
And start meditating.
I am not even kidding.
...
Yeah, Jude ain't got nothing on me for awkward moments.
Let me illustrate to you:
So Turkey day makes me very lonely because the whole POINT of it is to be with Family and mine is always very very far away.
So we started having huge parties with my friend, potlucks, in the days around so I could start having that big family feel. And we do that whole "What are you thankful for." thing
The first year I was at college, I brought home my roommates, Iris, and made the mistake of asking my dad over. AT this time my dad had no idea about Bev.
So we're going around doing the whole "What are you Thankful for. First my friend Holly (Who'd brought a friend with a CRAZY conservative mom) was like "I'm glad we could be here with people like you." And gestures towards me and Bev. And I'm going "My dad's good at denial. He'll read that as Liberal. Heh."
Then we get to Iris. Ah Iris. How I love her.
She opens her mouth and goes "Terra should be thankful for her boobs! No, wait, BEV should be thankful for Terra's boobs :D"
My dad left quiet quickly. And his denial rather feel apart.
The next year my dad took me to a dinner with a small group of poet friends.
My dad (Who I always spend this Holiday with) is very into the poetry scene. So there's me, him, a meek woman who's house it was. Nice, whopped at whole food, wanted to please everyone. SOme guy who I remember nothing about, and then...her. I can't remember her name, but we'll call her Weebee cause it was kinda like that.
She was the kinda person I honestly expected to go "How avante guarde!" (And yes I likely just butchered that spelling) Crazy ritzy hippy poet woman who wanted to be the cutting edge of everything. Kept trying to impress us all with who she knew, and her "show" which was on local TV at like 3 am. You get the idea.
So she becomes obsessed with my art. Like...wanted to know EVERYTHING. And this was the time when I was working on doing art as Mamoru, for my RP and as an art exercise, and so had a bunch of stuff in there from http://www.mamopuff.deviantart.com/ there, and she asked where the name came from, and I explained I doodled Mamoru in a cream puff (See icon) which was an utterly dirty joke, but I left that out.
So she declares, at this dinner table, I'm not even kidding:
"Representing yourself as a male in a pastary means you were sexually molested as a child."
...
And then she goes on an on about how I must have repressed it, and I needed to be free, blah blah blah. And we're all just sitting there, jaw dropped, going "...well ain't this awkward."
Finally she stops and there's a long silence and then she's like "Oh, and (Hostess name) this is the song i wanted you to list to on this CD."
And we all breath a sigh of relief and start eating again, and suddenly she grabs my knees and is like "But you really need to deal with these issues or you'll never be free."
And start meditating.
I am not even kidding.
...
Yeah, Jude ain't got nothing on me for awkward moments.