(no subject)

[penguinfaery]

My grandmother passed away yesterday. She was my mom's step mom but always, always family. We were all very close, and I loved her a hell of a lot. I haven't seen her for a year and a half, since we went to AX, but we had a really nice lunch then, just her and I.

She was a strong, wonderful person, and I know she has missed my Papa Dave since he past...years ago now. And just been...sort of done living. But I'm still gonna miss her like crazy. She was something special.

I have weirdly been thinking a lot about her lately. The story about her giving me the Vampire Armand and being like "Enjoy, it's pretty much gay porn!:)" Came up like...twice in the last week or so. And my brains has just been...IDK. Back in the house at Estralita a lot.

I don't know if I'm going to the funeral. I'd rather get my mother out there for a longer amount of time to spend with her siblings, then go out myself, but I also don't want to not be with her.Plus there is family politics if I don't go that once upon a time I think my family did not have but...is not so true anymore. I don't think they would understand wanting to mourn in my own way. I also just...don't do well with death. I was...ok, at Sarah's grandmother's funeral,but barely and I didn't know her.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. We had Tea at the Brown Palace which was pathetic and over priced ($119 for 3 people. It was in the lobby, which granted was a beautiful lobby, but also loud and awkward. And the food was delicious but you honestly got about half a plate for that much money. And the tea itself was nothing special.) But it made my mom happy, and she doesn't seem to be letting Grandma Jo's passing ruin that for her.

Comments

[cloudyskies2046.livejournal.com]

You know, I think a lot of people don't do well with death. I grew up with a funeral director for a father and a mother who also worked in the funeral home, and honestly I think that's the only reason I am able to mourn and handle it as well as I do. When a person's passing does not come that often, it is jarring, and you might think "What am I supposed to feel?" and that insecurity is uncomfortable. I hope you're able to feel what you need to feel and at the end of it all understand comfort and peace. hugs <3

[mysticshell.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[shadeblue.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss, hon. I hope you and your mama are okay, or as okay as can be expected. Death is really rough, and I'm on the same page as you in having a hard time with it. Be strong, sweetie, and let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you

[chibirisuchan.livejournal.com]

*long distance hugs*

[rhinestonebliss.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. I'll keep you and my family in my prayers

[kabloowy.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss Te.

[ryuuoh-elf.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for you loss. *hug*

[bayonetta.livejournal.com]

I am sorry to hear this. My grandmother died around this time last year. I reminisce a lot on some of the things she would do for us. I'm sure her spirit is watching over you.