penguinfaery: (Kakashi-angsting)
Terra ([personal profile] penguinfaery) wrote2008-03-28 11:37 am

My issues

Let me show you them.

I hate....a lot, how depressed I get from not being included. Like...I know no one likes it (because it's not a pleasant thing) but there are times when I can go from like...normal and happy to near suicidal (And at certain times of the month when I'm particularly irrational, not near) from one small slight. And they can be small. No really, you'd think I was crazy.

Like...I start crying and wanting to kill long term STRONG friendships and just run away and stop functioning the minute I get a wiff of not being wanted. I have no idea where this comes from, is it was just being unpopular when I was younger or what, but I hate how STRONG it can get. I can give example but I don't wanna single anyone out and make them feel bad, because I rarely think it's intentional or means any harm. It's very much my issue I just...ugh.

I'm gonna go feel yucky in a corner now.

I realize I'm not the best person to say this <_<

[identity profile] torowa.livejournal.com 2008-03-28 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I think you're afraid of being hurt more by the people you've opened yourself to. You want to close up when things start to get a little miffy to protect your heart. I know there have been experiences that encourage you to react this way. Are you telling the people who are hurting you when they are? Whether you think your response/behavior is an irrational reaction or not... it's best to talk it out with the other person. The problem cannot be solved if you don't address it with them early on. You can't know if they are doing it on purpose or not if you don't ask them. You would want to know if someone had even the smallest issue with you right?

Re: I realize I&#39;m not the best person to say this &lt;_&lt;

[identity profile] penguinfaery.livejournal.com 2008-03-28 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I really...lately...the one issue that inspired this post I think i'm going to talk to the person about but it's been REALLY bad. Like...part of it lately was PMSing (Which I hate being like "Oh, lol, just PMS" but...when it goes away when I start bleeding...) but like..I dunno. And I'd be worried I'm going mental again but it's only this ONE issue.

Re: I realize I&#39;m not the best person to say this &lt;_&lt;

[identity profile] torowa.livejournal.com 2008-03-28 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I dunno if you're like me in this aspect, but the problems I may have with someone when I bleed... while the reaction might be overdone, the problem is still a problem after my period is over. It just bothers me less when I can control my emotions better. It's good that you're gunna talk to them. Even wiser that you are waiting until after your cycle is over.

Slightly OT:
The last time you were 'mental', you posted a lot more negative things on your f-list (which I haven't really seen a whole lot of). You also were doing 5,000,000 things all at one time, and they needed to be completed all at the same time. Right now, you're probably managing several communities, working on three or four comics, working on internet art commissions, working on CON stuff.... not to mention homework, classwork, and work work. Are you giving yourself adequate breaks? That's enough to make anyone stressed and anxious.